


it doesn't matter.

by jamesileee



Category: alex/joss, jes macallan - Fandom, josslyn carver, mistresses us, shannyn sossamon
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-16 18:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/865017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesileee/pseuds/jamesileee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is just a look at the progressing relationship between Joss and Alex, and what that impending relationship means for each of them. It will begin immediately after episode 104 ends and go from there accordingly. Potential spoilers for episode 105. (It hasn't aired yet, and I haven't seen it, but I'm perceptive.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: this fiction is based upon the US version of Mistresses, not the BBC version. So it's not about Jessica and Alex but about Josslyn and Alex. The US version has actually been incredibly well done thus far, and I feel as though as it's not getting the notoriety that it deserves. As far as the relationship between Joss and Alex, I think it's handled perfectly and realistically. One does not have to be a lesbian in order to fall in love with a woman. This show is seeming to prove that very well. In the words of AMC, "the heart wants what it wants. can't fight it."

Joss walked into the pool house to find Alex sitting on the bed, looking more distraught than she had ever seen her. A part of her wanted to rush to the girl, wrap her in her arms and comfort her, despite not knowing the problem. She thought better of it.

"Alex, what's wrong?" The care and concern were evident in her voice nonetheless.

"Sally wants to meet today, to look at a house. We just got off the phone," Alex explained, feeling weak and guilty and showing it.

"So… you're not broken up?" Joss sat down next to her, avoiding eye contact in an attempt to hide the disappointment in hers.

"We are, but Sally thinks it's just a temporary thing. That we just have to get back on track."

"Is that what you think?"

"No," Alex stared at Joss until she finally looked up into her eyes. "I need you to come with me today."

"You're going?! If you don't want to get back together why would you go and meet her?" Joss was so used to carelessly ending relationships (though none of hers had lasted for longer than a month or two) that she was thrown by the idea.

"We need closure. I need to tell her to her face that the person she was with isn't who I am anymore," Alex said, desperate for the girl to understand.

"Then why do you need me to come with you?"

"To keep me strong," Alex almost smiled sadly. "You know Sally. You know how hard she's going to try and you know how persuasive she can be. I fell into a pattern of listening to whatever she said and following it, so I need you there to be my strength."

"You have to be your own strength, Alex. I can't do it for you."

"I know. And you taught me that," Alex smiled, touching Joss's hand. "I just need you there to remind me that I'm not weak anymore. That I don't have to be. I'll take care of it myself, but I just can't let her win me over."

Joss looked at her skeptically, but the girl's hand was still gently wrapped around her own.

"Please?"

"Okay."

X X X

The car ride home was silent, but not necessarily awkward. Both Alex and Joss had a lot on their minds after things had gotten heated with Sally- and after Joss had gotten called out. Apparently Sally blamed Joss for everything, but mostly for trying to win Alex over, pull her away from her, because she was falling in love with her, she said. But Josslyn Carver did not fall in love. Not to mention she was a playa straight girl. Right? Joss was just glad that Sally had the decency to wait until Alex was out of the room to bring this up. But now that Joss thought about it, it wasn't out of decency at all; it was out of fear. Sally was afraid that Alex was falling in love, too.

"I'm sorry you fought with Sally," Joss said suddenly, breaking the silence. It wasn't like Joss to naturally think and care about another person over herself, but for some reason with Alex she had no choice. Each time that she was thinking about her own uncomfortable interaction with Sally, along with all the questions in her mind, her thoughts would drift back to poor Alex. She had gone there looking for closure, to move on, but had gotten berated by the one who had supposedly loved her instead.

"Don't be sorry, Joss. You're sweet, though," Alex smiled for a moment. "I got what I wanted. It's over. And I don't have to feel like a coward anymore."

"You were never a coward," Joss defended instinctively.

"I was. I let her have all the say and walk all over me. At least if she belittled me today, I finally know it was for the last time." A wide, peaceful smile spread across Alex's face and she rested her head back, watching Joss as she drove, the sun shining orange on her face. "Thank you."

"For what?" Joss scoffed, but chanced a sideways smile at the girl anyway.

"For everything. For being you. For making me question the things that obviously weren't right in my life but that I was too scared to change." Alex told her.

"But you did it, Alex. All of it."

"Because you showed me that I could."


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just a brief filler chapter, internal and essential to the building of the story. i apologise that alex isn't in this chapter, but i promise she'll be in the rest. i hope you're enjoying the story. let me know what you like and dislike. thanks.

Josslyn Carver had had a lot of what some could consider ‘random’ (and often hot) sex in her life. But never had she had more random (or hotter) sex than she did when Alex decided to invite herself into her shower. Joss honestly didn’t know what to think at first. So many things were running through her very sexually-oriented brain at such a pace that she couldn’t keep them straight (literally, as it turned out).   
As Alex stood in front of her, Joss took a moment to contemplate the situation, and where she should go with it. Was this a good idea? Okay, honestly, that’s all the further the contemplation went, because Joss’s gaze kept unintentionally jumping from Alex’s lust-filled eyes to her beautiful (and until now, hidden) body. Joss was toast.  
X x x  
“And what happened between us, that can just be fun, right? I had fun.”   
Alex’s words kept running through Joss’s mind, not because they were hurtful or untrue, but because they were so true. Not only sex with Alex, but just being with Alex in general was very fun for Joss. So fun that it seemed all she wanted to do was be around the girl, and that thought scared her, whether she would admit it to herself or not.  
Joss seemed to remain in a fog for days after the shower encounter, even after she and Alex had hung out many times and easily proven that nothing had to get weird or change between them. She was so lost in her thoughts now that she didn’t even realize that she had been living in a daze.  
“Joss? Hello? Are you with us?” Savi chuckled, drawing her sister’s attention as they sat with April and Karen at April’s store.   
Joss had forgotten that she was even there with the women. How long had she been out this time?  
“You okay?” Savi tried again.  
“I slept with Alex.”  
Joss had blurted it out before she could even notice to stop herself. Though, she had never been one for censorship.  
“What?! When?” Savi gasped, but Karen and April were obviously confused.  
“A few days ago,” Joss told her.  
“Who’s Alex and why is Joss sleeping with someone suddenly a big deal?” April asked, not being rude- just curious.  
Savi raised an eyebrow at Joss, in her own way challenging, ‘Yeah, Joss, tell them who Alex is.’  
“Alex is a client of mine. Well, was a client,” Joss began cautiously, wondering how to approach the explanation.  
“And you’ve never slept with a client before,” Karen nodded, reasoning.  
“Oh. No, I have,” Joss shrugged.  
“You actually care for him, don’t you?” Karen asked, her empathy seeing a certain sparkle in Joss’s eye that she had certainly never seen before.  
“I…I might,” Joss’s nose scrunched up a bit, as though it pained her to actually admit it aloud. “I might actually care for her…” She said it again as a realization that all of this that she was feeling might mean just that.  
“Her?!” April and Karen exclaimed in unison.  
“And there it is,” Savi said, nearly inaudibly.  
“How did this happen?” Karen asked, going straight into psychiatrist mode.  
“I don’t know,” Joss shrugged. “It just did. We’ve been friends for a while now and she just broke up with her horrible girlfriend and it just kind of happened.”  
“You let yourself be some lesbian rebound?!” April asked, appalled at the thought; not because it was a woman, but because Joss was no one’s rebound.  
“No! It wasn’t like that!” Joss shouted, offended at the thought. So what if they were just friends? So what if it was just for fun? Alex would not use her, and the idea of it made her heart cringe. “God! If I had known that you guys were going to react like this I wouldn’t have told you.” Joss was obviously hurt, which wasn’t something any of the women were used to seeing.   
“We’re not trying to be any type of way about it, Joss. We’re just shocked, I guess,” April explained, softening.  
“I’m not,” Savi said quietly.  
“Why shocked? I’m the free-spirit,” Joss defended.  
“It’s not your spirit that I’m shocked by; it’s your body,” April told her. “You like penis more than anyone I’ve ever met in my life.”  
“And you had sex with a woman,” Karen added.  
“And it was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life.”


End file.
